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Self-care has become a buzzword. It’s on water bottles, social media, and t-shirts. You’ll hear it used to justify spa days, shopping sprees, or saying "no" to plans. And while there’s nothing wrong with rest or treating yourself, this narrow version of self-care can start to feel… superficial. Especially when what you’re really needing is healing. In this post, we’ll unpack what self-care really means—beyond the aesthetics—and how to reconnect with self-care as a practice of

For many people, the first time they consider going to therapy, it’s accompanied by a quiet question: “Is something wrong with me?” In a world where mental health is often medicalized, pathologized, and reduced to diagnostic labels, it’s no surprise that clients may enter therapy expecting to be “fixed,” “labeled,” or even judged. But not all therapy works that way. And if you're seeking support that honors your complexity without reducing you to a set of symptoms, you might

At first glance, being a “people-pleaser” might not seem like a bad thing. You’re helpful, agreeable, thoughtful—someone others can count on. But when being nice becomes a constant performance at the expense of your own needs, desires, or identity, it’s not kindness, it’s a survival strategy. And it often comes at a quiet but profound emotional cost. In this post, we’ll explore what maladaptive people-pleasing  really is, how it develops, and the cycle that keeps it in motion

Every year, as soon as the days get shorter and the temperatures drop, the mood around us drops too. The narrative becomes predictable: "Winter is depressing.” I’m tired all the time.” Wake me up in April.” And to be clear — Seasonal Affective Disorder is real . The brain responds to changes in light, routine, and social activity. If winter hits you harder than a rogue snowball to the face, you’re not weak. You’re human with a nervous system that keeps score. But here’s the

After trauma, the personal narrative often becomes “thin.” It focuses only on loss, fear, or shame. The story filters out the strength, courage, and small acts of survival that also occurred. This thin description  can shape how a person sees themselves: “I’m broken.” “I failed.” “It’s my fault.” Narrative Therapy helps clients “thicken” the story — to bring back context, compassion, and multiple perspectives. The process expands the narrative beyond the trauma, making room f

Let’s start with a truth that may be uncomfortable for some: Much of the modern mental health system was built on a foundation that pathologizes people instead of understanding them . And that legacy still echoes today (but it's improving!). From DSM labels to diagnostic hierarchies to a focus on “fixing” the individual in isolation, the field has often missed the mark. Especially when it comes to trauma, identity, context, and relational healing . But what if I told you that

Being a young adult in today’s world is often described as exciting, full of potential, and “the best years of your life.” But for many, it doesn’t feel that way at all. Instead, it feels confusing. Pressured. Isolating. Overwhelming. If you're a young adult navigating this season—or if you’re a parent, mentor, or therapist walking alongside someone who is—this post is for you. Because a young adulthood today is hard in ways that are often misunderstood or minimized . And nam

Being a teen, or raising one, can feel like navigating a never-ending emotional rollercoaster. One minute things feel fine, and the next, everything’s tense, overwhelming, or confusing. Whether you’re a teenager trying to make sense of your world, or a parent wondering, “What happened to my sweet, cooperative kid?” —this post is for you. Because the truth is: the teen years are not just challenging, they’re transformative.  And understanding what’s really happening under the

If you’ve ever been stuck in self-doubt, emotional pain, or fear of judgment and just wanted something  to help you get through the moment—this tool might be for you. In the Netflix documentary Stutz , psychiatrist Phil Stutz shares a set of accessible interventions he’s developed throughout his work, called The Tools . One of these tools is the PEARL —a deceptively simple, yet incredibly powerful practice for reconnecting with your deeper self when your emotions, thoughts, o

Anxiety is one of the most misunderstood emotional experiences in therapy. Often, people imagine anxiety as panic attacks, racing thoughts, or the inability to calm down. While those are certainly expressions of anxiety, they’re just the tip of the iceberg. In my view—and in the lived experience of many clients— anxiety is everywhere. Not in a pathological sense.Not because you're broken or overly sensitive.But because anxiety is a core emotional and physiological response  t

People-pleasing is often described in terms of behavior—difficulty saying no, always being agreeable, anticipating others’ needs. But beneath these behaviors lives a deeper story: one you may have carried for years without even realizing it. Stories like: “I have to be good to be loved.” “If I upset others, I’ll be abandoned.” “My needs aren’t as important.” “It’s safer to be small than to be too much.” These are not random thoughts. They are narratives—internalized messages

People-pleasing often masquerades as a personality trait— “I’m just easygoing,” “I like keeping the peace,” or “I don’t want to be a burden.” But beneath these phrases is often a body that has been conditioned to stay safe by staying small. What many don’t realize is that chronic people-pleasing isn't just a mindset—it's a nervous system response . One that’s deeply wired through past experiences of stress, trauma, and survival-based adaptation. In this post, we’ll explore ho

At first, accommodating others feels like connection. You become the flexible one, the peacekeeper, the one everyone can rely on. You say “yes” quickly, adjust without complaint, and anticipate the needs of others before your own even reach the surface. But over time, this relentless accommodation—especially when it’s driven by fear, guilt, or survival—becomes a quiet form of self-erasure. It doesn’t just lead to burnout; it chips away at your sense of identity and belonging.

When you’ve spent years (or even decades) making decisions based on what others need or expect from you, it’s easy to wake up one day and realize you’ve lost sight of who you are. You might find yourself asking questions like: What do I actually want? Why do I feel empty even when I’m doing everything “right"? Why do I feel guilty when I think about putting myself first? If this sounds familiar, you may be living under the weight of maladaptive people-pleasing —a pattern tha